People we know influence how we think and act when it comes to sex. To begin with, both friends and strangers affect our perceptions of a prospective partner’s attractiveness, consciously and unconsciously. These effects go beyond basic tendencies that men and women have to make judgments about appearance; for example, it has repeatedly been shown that men find women with low waist-to-hip ratios more attractive, and women value certain facial features in men. Until recently, most research on partner choice and assessments of attractiveness has focused on an individual’s independent preferences. However, there are good biological and social reasons to suppose that perceptions of attractiveness can spread from person to person.

The power of suggestion

An experiment suggests how. First, investigators took pictures of men who were rated equally attractive by a group of women. Then, they presented pairs of pictures of two equally attractive men to another group of women, but between each pair of pictures, they inserted a picture of a woman who was “looking” at one of the men. This woman was smiling or had a neutral facial expression. The female subjects were much more likely to judge a man to be more attractive than his competitor if the woman interposed between the photos was smiling at him than if she was not.

The attractiveness of attached men

In another study, a group of women again rated photographs of men for attractiveness. The photos were accompanied by short descriptions, and when the men were described as “married,” women’s ratings of them went up. In still another study, men in photographs with attractive female “girlfriends” were judged to be more attractive when the “girlfriend” was in the photo than when she was not. Having a plain “girlfriend,” however, did not enhance a man’s appeal as much. Astoundingly, women’s preferences for men who are already attached may vary according to where the women are in their menstrual cycles. When they are in the fertile phase of the cycle, they have a relative preference for men who are already attached to other women.
This makes perfect sense from an evolutionary perspective. Copying the preferences of other women may be an efficient strategy for deciding who is a desirable man when there is a cost (in terms of time or energy) in making this assessment or when it is otherwise hard to decide. While a woman can, with a glance, assess for herself various attributes of a man that might be associated with his genetic fitness (his appearance, his height, his dancing ability), other traits related to his suitability as a reproductive partner (his parenting ability, his likelihood of being sweet to his kids) can require more time and effort to evaluate. In those cases, the assessment of another woman can be very helpful.

Men don't like competition over a woman

Perhaps not surprisingly, men react differently to social information. While they clearly have shared norms about what is attractive in a woman, contextual cues in men can actually operate in the opposite way. College-age women were more likely to rate a man as attractive if shown a photograph of him surrounded by four women than if shown a photograph of him alone. But college-age men were less likely to rate a woman as attractive if she was shown surrounded by four men than if she was shown alone.

differences in attraction

This makes evolutionary sense: When selecting mates, males tend to be less choosy than females and so are less concerned with the opinions of anyone else to begin with. However, the presence of other men conveys information of a different sort, namely, that there might be time-consuming (and stressful) competition to secure the woman’s interest.



Source:http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_300/338b_how-women-perceive-attractiveness.html

Most of us could use a little social lubricant every once in a while. It certainly is a lot easier to let your guard down and get up the courage to talk to the object of your affection after a few drinks. So you might assume that buying a woman drinks all night is the best way to get her to open up so you can make some progress (whether that progress is to the bedroom or toward a relationship). Well, be advised: This plan can backfire on you with disastrous results if you don’t follow the proper guidelines when it comes to buying women drinks.

Don’t get her drunk

Drinking certainly doesn’t bring out the best in everyone. While a drink or two might help you become the most suave and confident version of yourself, the same amount of alcohol might turn her irritable and depressed. After you buy her a few drinks, the girl you originally hit on may become a totally different and -- let’s face it -- a way lamer person. You may find yourself stuck on the business end of an endless tirade against her ex-boyfriend. Or you may simply find her drunken ramblings boring.

If you keep buying a woman drinks after the point where she seems like she’s been "overserved," she could get sick. That’s about as far from sexy as you can get, and you don’t want to end up holding her hair over the toilet or hauling her into a cab at the end of the night. Sure, it’s intimate -- but not in the way you were hoping for.

The point is not to get her drunk, but to break the ice and make it easier to get to know each other. You might think that getting her wasted will make you more attractive to her, but beer goggles don’t work the same way for women as they do for men. In fact, a British study showed that the effect wears off much more quickly for women.

Ask her what she’s drinking

Instead of coming right out and asking, “Can I buy you a drink?” try taking a more assertive approach by asking what she’s drinking. She will appreciate that you bothered to ask before buying her a drink and you’ll avoid wasting money on a cocktail she doesn’t like. Also, by not referring to buying the drink, you may be able to avoid her responding with, “I can buy my own drinks, thank you.”

For more tips on how to buy women drinks without buying yourself a handful of trouble,

Run a tab

If you keep a tab instead of paying for each drink as it comes, you can avoid actually flashing the money in front of her, which some women may find arrogant. Instead, settle up your bill at the end of the night to keep her mind on you and not on your wallet.

Pace yourself

Challenging your buddy to see which one of you can drink the other under the table is one thing, but getting competitive with a woman you’re trying to pick up is quite another. First of all, the more sober you are, the better chance you have of getting her number, making a good impression and seeing her again. Second, she will probably sip her drink at about the same pace that you drink yours (whether or not she realizes it -- it's something we tend to do unconsciously), so avoid knocking back your drinks too quickly. Chances are you can hold your liquor a little better than she can (there are exceptions, of course, but we’re speaking generally here), and if she’s keeping up with you, you’re probably not going to end up with the situation you were aiming for. Keep it to about two drinks and you should be okay.

Hold it with the shots

Ordering shots for your guys can seem like a spontaneous way to up the excitement, but it basically signifies a shift of gears from a relaxed evening of flirtation to a crazy night out where anything can happen. Sounds fun, but you should know by now that things can go very, very badly when you decide to go on a mini bender with a stranger. Save the insanity for a night with the guys or with a girl you know a little better.

don't be a douchey drinker

Whether your ultimate goal is one hot night of passion or a long-term committed relationship, starting out on the messy drunk foot is never a good idea. Buying her a drink can be a great way to start a conversation with a girl that has caught your eye, but if you go overboard it will get complicated faster than you can order another round of shots.


Source:http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_250/270b_buying-women-drinks.html

We went over the dos and don’ts of buying women drinks in a previous article, and now we’re moving on to the issue of sending women drinks from across the bar. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’d be wise to follow AM’s guidelines for sending a drink over to a lady who has caught your attention to avoid coming off as a creep instead of the gentleman that you are. You’re aiming for suave, not sleazy. If you play your cards right, you’ll make a big impression on her as a gentleman with style and confidence.

Use the bartender as your wingman

To pull this off correctly, it’s essential to get the bartender on your side. Make sure to treat him with respect and not like a lackey. After all, his delivery will go a long way to determining how the woman is going to react. If his body language says you’re a jerk, it doesn’t matter what words he uses when he brings the drink over to her. When sending women drinks, the bartender is your wingman and in order to make him a helpful and willing one, you should be nice and tip big.

Ask what she’s drinking

You can’t just order any old drink and send it over to her. You should ask the bartender what she’s drinking and send another of the same to her when it looks like her drink is getting a little low (but before she orders a fresh one). If you end up choosing something she doesn’t like, you’ll have wasted a drink and won't get the reaction you desire. Play it safe and send her something you know will please her taste buds. Another way of doing this is to ask the bartender to charge you for whatever drink she orders next. When he hands it to her he can gesture in your direction, indicating that it’s on you.

The casual nod

As the bartender takes the drink over, keep your eyes on the woman. When he points you out to her, put on a genuine smile and give a casual nod. You could also slightly raise your glass toward her. Don’t jump up and down or wave at her like a lunatic. You don’t have to act overly eager. Just keep it cool and sincere.

Want some more advice on sending women drinks?

Observe her reaction

The next step is to watch her reaction to see whether or not you should make your way over to introduce yourself. If she returns your smile and waves, you’ve got a green light. If she turns to her friends and giggles, give it some time to figure out whether she’s laughing at you or expressing her delight to the girls. Anything along the lines of eye-rolling, nose-upturning or refusing the drink is obviously a bad sign. In that case, shrug it off.

Introduce yourself

Give her a chance to enjoy her drink. Then, if her reaction is favorable, approach her and start up a conversation. You shouldn’t act cocky or assume anything just because she accepted your drink. You have created yourself an in to start things off with her, but don’t take it for granted. You still have to use your wit and charm to make a good impression. A proper follow-up is key when it comes to sending women drinks.

the ice is broken

Sending a woman a drink is a classic move that many women will appreciate. It’s an old-school gentlemanly move (you know Clooney would approve) that doesn’t get used too much these days, and therefore has some novelty appeal. If you feel like taking a more direct approach, you could just go up and talk to her, but sending over a cocktail first will make her feel special and show her that you’re a generous guy. Sending a drink over will definitely provide you with an easy icebreaker. From there, it’s up to you to form a connection and get her interested in you.



Source:http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_250/273b_sending-women-drinks.html